香香,

Just finish watching the last episode. I think our life is just like them. Probably everything will just end up to where it should be? Don't know why but suddenly I just feel that maybe our life was meant to be like this. Maybe things are meant to be like how it is now. Still misses you. But really, I'm still hoping to find a clear answer as to things will be. Hoping and knowing is both different thing. At least, knowing will make things more clearer and life simpler. Well, I'll still be here for you when you need me. Just hope things will be better and to what our life should be.

Loves,
备备

香香,

So tired. Been out the whole day till morning. Super tired. Went for movie, lunch and dinner. Watched "Parker", not bad. Dinner at a chinese restaurant. Had szechun noodle soup. Not very spicy but I suspect there is fish in the soup. Can really taste some fishy taste. Don't really like it. How have you been? Everything good I assume. No news from you for a very long time. Really misses you. Probably you have already settle down with your life. Looks like everything is good again for you. Shall be sleeping today. I don't think I can stay awake any longer. Time to sleep. Hope to hear from you soon.

Loves,
备备

香香,

Been a long while and still no sign from you. Days are getting longer each day but yet time doesn't stay for me. Watched both episode 27 and 28. I must say, the show is getting exciting. How I wish my life is the same as them. At least I can stand up for the weaker people. Although nothing special happened today, still glad that things are going smoothly for the CNY celebration. Got the poster done up and pasted onto the walls. Now all that's left is to send out e-mails and the menu to be printed. Looks like next week will be a busy week. Hope life is good for you now. Been driving past many churches lately. Maybe I should drop in on one and listen to the pastor preach? I wonder if the church here is really better? Maybe I should go in and listen. At least I will be able to decide myself. Well time is my friend. So I shall leave all for time to tell.

Loves,
备备

香香,

These 2 days been a short and boring days. Let's start with yesterday first. Practically did nothing at work. Played pool with my friend during lunch time. After which, went home and sleep till morning. Really bored. Today was no exception. Only thing special was the blood donation. Been donating my blood for a few years. Kind of addicted to it. Well blood is not stopping and had to put plaster on it now. Been watching episode 25 and 26. One thing which caught my attention. The heart really hurts, but when it's time to let go, one have to let go. Does that mean us too? Is it time to let go? I really don't know what to do. Wish you are around to tell me what to do. Which things will be so different. Wish life with you wasn't so short. Been a long time since you contact me. Probably that was the last time though. I wish it will never end. Although you said this, what must end will end. I'm really confused. Just wish someone will show me the path to take. Been missing you since then. Hope you are doing well now.

Loves,
备备

香香,

Short day today. Time went past fast. Didn't have much work to do. Ended up going home around 3 plus today. Watched episode 24. Did you watch it too? Have you started working already? How's your trip? Everything okay already? Really ended up no text messages from you. Checking my DS now. Wonder if you receive any note from me? I've sent it through DS swapnote. Really hope to hear from you soon. Hopefully I will be able to contact you soon. I'll be waiting.

Loves,

备备

香香,

Sadly, yesterday my chrome and IE was down. Can't do an update on Saturday. Well shall update for 2 days today. Firstly, Saturday was really boring. The whole day nothing to do, nothing to watch. Just facing the laptop the whole day. Totally slacked for the whole Saturday till dinner time. Cooked pasta for dinner. Think I cooked too much. The food totally cannot finish and now it's in the fridge. After dinner, went back to my room to slack again. Well, in the end, quarreled on the phone. Totally just don't know what girls think. Complicated.

Today started with basketball. Went to Arizona State University in the morning for ball. Totally shag from ball today. Although it was about 1 hour of balling, it felt like forever. Time is ticking so slow today. Miss you for the past 2 days. Always asking myself if you are doing good now. Wish I had a way to know. After ball, went for lunch with my sir's son at panda express. Ate pretty little today. Just don't feel like eating much today. Looks like I'm on diet. Went home afterwards. Rest again for the day and went out for dinner. Had japanese food for dinner. It's really good. Enjoy eating dinner today. Although japanese food reminds me of us, I know time can never turn back again. Well, I'll just let fate decide if our path will ever cross again. Maybe God have a plan for both of us. I guess only time will tell.

Loves,
备备

香香,

A long day today. Just finish watching episode 23. Looks like 24 is going to be more interesting. Share a good news with you. My poster is done. Very satisfied with it. Wish I can show you. Just checked my DS. Too bad you are not online for 9 days. Well I'll still be waiting. Just now drank a lot of beer. Had to play pool with my senior and colleagues. Lose and you drink. Lost a few games. Drank a lot. Lucky I can still drive and managed to get home. Really miss you. Do you too miss me? Or have you moved on without telling me? Wish I know the answer. End up we even played Foosball. Luckily that is a game I won't lose so easily. Won all 3 games. No need drink. Well, I rather be drinking to be honest. Everything is crumbling down. Personal life is no longer the same. Sometimes I even wish you are here to see how I live but again, I rather you don't. I don't want to disappoint you. Weekend in a few hour time. Hope you will have loads of fun and enjoy your weekends. Looking forward to contact you once again.

Loves,
备备

香香,

Boring day today. Been busy doing up the CNY poster. Now, I had to do the invitation card and the name tags for the VIP to be use on the table. Tonnes of work but so little time. As usual, no text today. I wonder, do you still read this blog? Somehow, no views increased at all. Well at least  I get to hear your voice today. Although I really have to apologize. Shouldn't have bother you with my work stuffs. Really sorry. Didn't dare to use my handphone to call you. I think you know why too. Still I'm glad to hear your voice. Really miss hearing it. Don't worry though. I don't think I will call again. That 5 minute was more than I can ask for. Still missing you though. Hopefully we can start to talk again soon. But maybe it's just my wishful thinking. I once heard someone say " Even if loving someone is a one sided thing, you are still in love with him/her as long as you love him". I guess this may be a better way to keep one from feeling sad. It's time to get back to CNY work. Oh ya, episode 22 is really nice too. Hope you are still watching it. Take care for now. Will be back to write again tomorrow.

Loves,
备备

香香,

It's been a pretty relaxing day today. Work is not as heavy as usual. CNY meetings and things to do is taking most of my time but still, I have time to think about stuffs. Just came back home from Black Angus. Dinner was great. Well if I had to spend 40 bucks, it had to be good. Will be back to doing the CNY stuffs soon later. This week is the last week I have to slack around. Watched episode 21. Wish episode 22 will come out soon. Seen your photos too. Some were cute, some were both cute and pretty and some were a little off the chart lame. At least you are having fun. That's a good thing. Been checking DS today but still, didn't manage to see you coming online. Probably too busy for you to play. Still waiting for your text though it never came. It has been 1 week. Silently waiting. Often I wonder if you miss me. I know I do but yet I can't text you. Guess I'm coping with it. Life is never the same. Just wish my phone will ring soon. Hope you are having fun.

Loves,
备备

香香,

Another day of waiting and still nothing changed. Work is now more relaxed since there is not much people in office today. Enjoyed episode 20. Can't wait for the whole series to come out. Really love the way King is. She's really so much like you especially when she is stubborn. Well, watching that show really makes me feel like time travelling back to the days when we are in secondary school. Wish I can turn back time. Wish everything can just rewind and I can just fix it all. Well sometimes dreaming is the only way for me to feel less lonely. Been drawing circles lately. I still miss calling you at night and talking on the phone. It's really enjoyable back then. Too bad things are so different now. If only things did not change. If only things were still status quo. Dreamt about you last night. It's funny though. I can't tell if that was a nightmare or a sweet one. It has a little of both and it's weird. Been checking my DS lately. Guess I wont have the chance to see you online. Well still I hope we can play together soon. I promised to race you when you are ready. Hope that day will faster come. Miss you a lot still. Hope you do miss me somehow. 

Loves,

备备

香香,

Another boring day today. Watched episode 19 today. Really nice. Every time when I watch the show, I can't stop thinking about you, about us. It really is similiar to our situation. Listening to the song, I almost cried. Hope you really am like King. I still hope things will get better for you. Anyway, I recovered from my illness. Went to walmart today to buy food to cook for tomorrow lunch. Macroni soup for lunch. Hope tomorrow will be a better day. Really miss you a lot.

Loves,
备备

香香,

Today is a boring day. Went to lunch alone. Ate five guys and went home. Nothing to do the whole day. Don't even have episode 19 yet. Guess I really got to wait till monday. Been thinking about you the whole day. Slept in the afternoon and went out for dinner after waking up. Ate japanese food today but funny thing is, I still enjoy the japanese food we had more. I really miss those time. Guess you should be back today. Hope everything is going fine for you. Don't want to see you sad that's for sure. Well guess tomorrow will be another normal day. Another fruitless wait today. Really wonder if my phone will ever ring with your text. Waiting is all that is left for me now.

Loves,
备备

香香,

Another long day for me. Woke up with the first thing to do, watch K.O ONE part 2. well it's really something I will like. Tears filled my eyes at some point. But still, watching the show didn't make me feel any better. Phone still did not ring with your text. Maybe you are happier now. Maybe I'm just like how the show is. Begin a life alone in a new place and only to find the things we cherish to be something seperated by time. Although for them, it's 10 years. It really felt like forever. Watched finish all 18 episode. Looking forward for the next though. Hopefully, happy ending awaits for them. Been to your facebook and I did realise some post was missing. I hope everything is okay! Really miss you. Hope to hear from you soon.

Loves,
备备

香香,

A relax day at work today. Had meeting and clearing up some paper work. Been listening to the song you sang the whole day. Damn, I really miss you a lot. Been to your facebook and I'm glad to see you smile so cheerfully. Maybe things got better on your side. Just spent 670 bucks on my car today. Kind of heart ache but for my own safety, I think it's worth it. Cant wait to hear from you though. Can't wait for you to be back. Really miss those times when we will talk on the phone and laugh about lame stuffs. I'm not sure if those times will ever come back. Like always, been waiting for your text and as always, none came. I'm disappointed but yet I still wait. For what? You may ask. I guess it's the smile that it brings. Hopefully I can hear from you soon.

Loves,
备备

香香,

Had a bad day yesterday. First time coming home without internet. In the end the bill wasn't paid for 2 months. Ended up couldn't do any blogging last night. I miss you a lot. I got a lot of questions to ask you. Questions like are you doing alright? How's things going with your side? Everything okay? Having fun? etc.
I kept waiting last night for a text message. It didn't came and I was really disappointed. I'll be doing the same today too. Waiting and waiting. Hopefully one day, I will be able to smile and read the text you sent. I hope everything is progressing well on your side. Last night really felt weird. It's like I'm left all alone now. No one to talk to when I'm down. No one to cheer me up when I had a rough day at work. Working hard lately as usual. Done a lot of things. I just can't stop thinking about you and I just can't stop missing you. Sorry if this make things worst. I just can't help it. Everyday is a torture to me. I hope you are getting used to not having me by your side. I just wish all these didn't have to end like how things are now. I just wish we are still like the last few nights. I really miss those time. Still please be safe and well.

Loves,
备备

香香,

I know today will be the last day we will talk in the current relationship we are in. I guess I really can't bear to let go. Although we didnt talk much, deep down I think we both can't bear to let it go. Well guess only time will tell. Not really in the mood to write down all my thoughts. I guess this time I'm really hurt in a different way. I am really hoping that come February I will know the answer I'm looking for. For now, I hope you will be able to enjoy your trip and be safe. No matter what happen, I will still keep my promises to you. I will be waiting. I guess I really do love you and that's why I want to see you be happy always. I still hope you will want to depend on me more and that every time, I will be the one to bring smiles onto your face. I hope to be the special one. I hope one day, we will still be able to get together. I'll miss you a lot. Take good care of yourself.

Loves,
备备

香香,

Went to work with a heavy heart this morning. Been thinking about what to do next about us. Well I do know what is the best way. Question is whether I can do it or not. Worked hard today and seriously, my performance was stunningly impressive. I guess I did well at work today. But to be honest, I just used work to drown myself. As days past and as the end approaches, I really don't know what I can do. I just can't let go even though I know I may have to. I asked God if this is how things should be but still I do not see a clear path ahead. I know I did say I will respect your decision but still, I would rather be selfish and think more for myself. You once told me to love someone, you have to first love yourself. I did that. I love myself more than before. I only hope that one day, God will have already arranged a path for us to be together. Maybe I'm thinking too much but I still do believe that God created all man and women equally irregardless of their race, language or religion and that God loves every individual the same like his own child. Truth to speak, I may have already accepted christ long ago. I do believe in God. I'm just waiting for my path to be clear to me. I'm hoping that one day, I will find the path I seek. No matter how hard things is now, I'm still trying. Trying to be that someone where you can depend on and that someone that will be there for you no matter what happen. Even though we did mention that we may not be friends again, deep down, I know I will still care for you no matter what. Even if it means losing part of me, I will still do it for you, for your happiness. Self sacrifice does not mean not loving myself. Just like Jesus did, he did not sacrifice for himself but for the rest of man. Likewise, I will do the same. I just hope one day, when you realize how true I am to you. Let time bring our path together again.

Loves,
备备

香香,

Went to ball this morning. Well my mood still didn't get better. I guess I really can't handle the fact. I mean why would you think of this r/s this way? I though we both still had feelings for one another? Perhaps I still just can't seem to understand. Nevertheless, I still will respect your decision. I mean I can't expect us to get together just like that and you won't feel bad. I don't want to see you feel bad. I want you to be with me because you really want to. I guess maybe that's why I feel sad the whole day. Been thinking a lot too. I know I really do like you and I just can't stop listening to the clip you sent me. The clip where you recorded your singing. I kept listening to it and thinking about us, about how to salvage this situation and about how to let you see that I've changed. I've changed to become a better person. I've changed to understand the importance of my role as a boyfriend and I've changed to be a person who is willing to spend more time with the person I care for the most. Guess I'll still have to wait till the day you will call me and say yes to me. The day which I will always be waiting for and the day which I will never forget. Just like NYC, those are just the little things I can and will do for a girl whom I really care a lot. I hope those will be what you will be looking for in the future. Miss you a lot today but I am really afraid that when the time comes to let go, I will not be able to do it. Cause deep down, I know I will never be able to let this go. I really cherish this a lot. I hope you will one day understand my feelings and will see the light from my point of view. I hope you too will cherish me a lot just like 香香&备备 did in KO3 Guo.

Loves,
备备

香香,

Today is another normal day. Been to the dealership to service my car but apparently, they do not have any available slot for my car to have any servicing to be done today. Guess I have to wait till next week. Went out to eat korean food after that. The food is quite nice. Quite authentic I must say. Looking at the KimChi, I can't help but to think about you. Well, frankly speaking, I do miss you a lot. Although today we had little text, but still I am happy cause I know you are having a good time with your date. Can't wait for night time to come. Everyday, I'll be looking forward for each night cause I know that will be the time where I can talk to you. Despite sometime we will end up chatting till past midnight, I still enjoy every conversation with you. Sometimes I even worry if you will have enough rest. I like to chat with you but I don't want to you to be too tired. Can't stop thinking about tonight, can't wait for you to call me when you are free. Hope night time faster come. For now, I better start doing my poster or else I will be in trouble. Love you 香香!

Loves,
备备

香香,

I miss you a lot. I keep looking at my phone but there is always no reply. Work is just as bad as any other days. At least today is friday. I also did what I promised. Sent out the 3DS XL today. So happy! I really do hope you can faster receive it. I can't wait for you to open the 3DS XL. I hope you will really like it a lot. Went out for dinner but it's all seafood and veggie. Really like these days a lot. You made me a whole person again. I am cherishing this moment and keeping it precious to me.

Loves,
备备

香香,

Cough still haven't recover today. Sorry to have made you worry. Well the good news is I bought cough syrup and I just drank it. Hopefully this will help me recover faster and you will need not worry so much about my illness. As promise, I bought your 3DS XL at a good price today. Unfortunately, it's a little more than the price I've told you but still the deal ain't bad. 200 bucks for the 3DS XL with 2 games and screen protector. Well still it's much cheaper than you buying the games separately. I'm sad I can't get the pink and white one but I'm glad you still like the red and black one. Work today was pretty much the same just that I'm tired from the lost of sleep. Otherwise, it's still a pretty good day.

Happy today too.  香香 misses 备备. Really brighten my day. I'm just so happy to see that. And last night was the best ever. I hope every night will be like that. You are the sunshine in my life. :)

Loves,
备备

香香,

Work today is bad. As what I've told you, keep getting scolded and it really makes me feel so discourage. Thankfully there is still you to keep me motivated. Been doing paper work and listening to one song. A song that is so like us. Managed to keep the time go faster but still find it getting harder to survive in my office. I mean I tried hard and work hard but yet it's like no one appreciate me at all. This is so demoralizing.

"傻笑", really love it a lot. I can't stop smiling when I am listening to this song. It brings me a lot of smiles and memories. I can't help but to think of you. I don't want to have our relationship to end up as a stranger. I really don't hope for this situation to happen. I will be damn sad. I will be able to bear to part with you. You are all that keeps me going.

Loves,
备备

香香,
Today has been a tiring day. Been tasked to role play for my boss for the rehearsal. It really feel weird though. I just can't seem to get used to it. Well at least that is over. After that, I'm tasked to help out in the food committee. Spent time cutting prawns and preparing the snow crabs. It was really a long and tiring task.
In the end, I had to be the chef for the day and did the bbq work. Had to stand for 4 hours to cook and clean up. At the very least, people enjoy my cooking. Guess I'm not too bad after all.

Been checking my phone the whole day. I know you are busy and yet I am happy to see your texts. At least I know that I am not forgotten. Well, at least that makes my day and keep me going even when I am down. I 'm really glad to have you around. It makes me feel that all the day effort is worth it. I hope everyday will be like this and I believe it will as long as we have each other. I really miss you but yet there is no way I can say it out except typing it all here. I love the way you smile and yet there is no other way for me to see it until I receive an image from you. I hope one day, if that day comes, I can see your smile every day and that smile will brighten the darkest hour of my life. I can promise you and myself that everyday will be a good day but I really need the chance to prove it. I really wish that day will come. Deep in my heart, I really hope it will be soon but I know you have your issue and I guess I can only wait. Even if the outcome is not what I want, I know you must have found your happiness. Although I dread this outcome, I will still have to give you my blessing if this were to happen. I really do hope that dream will really come true. I really do hope one day I can tell u proudly " I love you".

Loves,
备备

香香,
Today is another normal day but yet this normal day is still a long day. Firstly, I keep getting scolded again. Looks like what I do will never be correct. Secondly, I really miss 香香 alot. I mean I tired not to text her but yet, I still can't do it. Today, I think my illness just got worst. Cold most of the time and yet there is nothing I can do. Even wearing a jacket, I'm still shivering. End up today I had to work till late evening.

I really miss you alot! Nothing can express how much I miss you. I really wish for you to text me often but yet I'm afraid to get you into trouble. Guess I'll just have to keep waiting for your text. Really hope tomorrow will be better and there will be more texts as times come. In the end, there is still some words I hope can say to you but I think now is not the time. waiting for the time to be right. :)

Loves,
备备

香香,

A normal day today but yet I am very happy. At least I get to fulfill my promise to you, to accompany you for the day. Nothing can be better than this. No words can express how delighted I am. You kept running in my mind today, this makes me realize how much I really miss you. Despite even just a phone call, I am contented with it.

Did some cooking, and sow my pants! Haha even though it was just altering the length of the pants, I can't stop laughing when I heard you say I tore my pants. It's really funny to hear you say that! Probably you may think I am fat!! Bought the papers too so I'll be able to start writing on it soon. I do hope one day, I can cook for you again like how we used to in the past. I really hope that day will come soon.

Hearing things about your r/s really makes me sad! I really don't want to see you in this state. All I wish for if wishing on a shooting star would come true, is for you to be happy always. Your happiness is all I care about. Even though words may not mean anything to you, but it's the only way I can ever express myself now that we are far apart. It's the only way for you to know how much I care. I've changed and I'm no longer the guy in the past. Gaming is not the only thing in my life and I do not need gaming to keep me occupied. Rather, I would like the opportunity to spend my time with you everyday, every minute and every second. I know sometimes I can be irritating and annoying, I hope this will not bother you in any other way. I really care!

Love,
备备

Hihi 香香